Its one thing to have grass stain on your jeans. Its another thing to have grass stain on the flesh of your knees...in public...at the bowling alley! How does one get grass stain on his knees? Don't tell me you have a slip and slide and that when you slipped you slided right off into the grass.

Mr. Bowlerman did you ever notice that your male buddy wears those little old school beaded friendship pins along his shoelaces? What is that all about? Like the poofball short tennis socks weren't enough or something? I could understand it if the shoelace friendship pins were like bowling patches but they are not. He is so stuck in the 80s. The only thing that would make it even funnier is if he had a Hawaiian bowling shirt.

No you cheapbutt I will not accept a resizeable ring with a plastic gemstone glued inside. Do I look like I'm 8? Its not cute or romantic and I'm getting grossed out that you just licked off nacho cheese off your green-stained finger. You are the type of guy who at your age thinks it is a nice gesture to pick dandelions out of your yard and put them in a vase but when you do that you are actually sending the opposite message. What am I doing to attract you Mr Bowlerfreak? Leave me alone.

This one goes out to Mr. Tony of Tonys Kansas City. The other day I emailed him to see if he knew how to work the system that puts people's websites on his website. And just out of nowhere I went ahead and asked if he could help me spread the word that I'm not a bowler and he even wrote about my website!! I can't believe it, I hardly never win anything and what Tony did was like giving me my 15 minutes of fame! I'm just a woman from the Dotte and he took my asking seriously. I emailed him again and said I consider him a VIP and to visit my site anytime he wants. I would even give him some free tomatoes from my garden if he wants. My young coworker who went to college figured out how to add a technological number counter to my website and when he checked it, he said that 80 or so people looked at my website because of Tony. I don't know if that's a good number or not, but it sounds good to me. I don't even know if I know that many people in real life. So thank you Mr. Tony for helping me spread my message that I don't bowl, because I don't pretty often.


My smart coworker just read this and said that I should add Mr. Tony's website so people can click it and see who I'm writing this about. So here it is www.tonyskansascity.com.

Okay you had to have seen that I was wearing flipflops. FLIPFLOPS. What does this mean? Let me spell it out for you. No socks!! Bowlers always wear socks, uh yeah except for that time you walked over to the water fountain to rub on that fake tattoo on your ankle. You were not wearing socks and your tat only accentuated that.

Yes you freak. I have a rosen bag in my car. But it is not what you think. I place my hands in front of the air conditioner to cool them off then I pat the rosen on my fingers before I drive. I figure that its safer that way. If the bowling industry suggests it for bowling then it must mean something. Just get over it.

Even though I own a 14 lb marble bowling ball, it doesn't mean that it still fits on my fingers. My grip is different, you know?